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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
submitted here is the story of a little boy
No.
(STAMMERS)
Nigger Carlito, get over here
Well, as it turned out,
I promise.
All right? He'll be all yours.
Hi, Thomas, how are you?
Do you see me fucking with you? All right, speed round.
Butdad Get over here
(SOBBING)
No, like a fucking circular gold thing on her finger.
I might be gay I don’t know…
close, personal friends with gary gensler
An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles.
But he can never fail
This is art. Get it?
NARRATOR: Before long, Teddy had become a huge celebrity
Final Destination sucks! the boys rocks.
That's a weird fucking question
Did you really just fart?
I want you to be happy. You deserve that.
I might be gay, I don't know.
Fuck you, thunder! You can eat my ass!
So, it's funny that that didn't come up.
You owe me lobsta money
I'm really glad that you came.
I'm not gay. I know.
Hug me and billy and Mandy
Just come over. I got the Cheers DVD box set
RECORDED TOY VOICE: I love you!
And, by the way, my dancing was not that bad.
Rape!
That special time of year
(GROANS)
There's no putting things right. She fucking hates me.
here's my address and phone number.
I mean, when you think about it,
Go away.
Why would you?
Put your finger in my tag Polly
John, wait. Listen.
and my wish came true.
I told you, I can totally be a lawyer.
I love you
Rocky, fucking, Rodent!
newly solo.
Things are great, actually.
You know, this place looks great.
That took Guts We need guts
Death to Ming!
Justin I have so much Teddy Bear paperwork I have to get to, it is sick.
Cristal.
I gotta fuck her again.
Are you in one of those gay beat up clubs or something
No, I'm good. Thank you.
Mindy, Noelle, Shelby, Trina, Reba, Cassandra,
My relationship is at a very delicate stage, you know.
A couple of Charles Brew-kowskis?
They said they got separated
I’m gonna stuff my fucking face with Pepperidge Farms
Yeah, Dad, I made a wish last night that Teddy was alive
Chopped salad, half price.
Glad to hear it.
Ted, you gotta move out.
is that you go on a fun, casual date
Where?
I love you, too. (LAUGHING) And you're nasty.
You didn't exactly stand up for me.
will you marry me?
I'm alive, Johnny!
Fuck you, thunder You can suck my dick
Do you need a lift?
And then you can say whatever you want.
This bullshit! This all bullshit!
Idiot saying nonsense
Shit, I got to get to work!
Every now and then when my life's
Uh-oh.
You bweak-uh mah wall!?! I Newark-uh you wall!
That's good, I guess.
Tom Brady could do that.
Lori!
Listen, John and I may have our problems, but at least he tried.
I know it sucks, but otherwise I'm going to lose her.
Whoa! Whoa!
(SCREAMING IN PAIN)
(LAUGHING) Yeah.
I don't ever want to lose anyone who matters to me ever again.
You want a Xanax?
You Italian? No.
But you've got to make some money
Now, Ted, you belong to Robert now, okay? You do as he says.
You better never show your face around Quincy
Come on, nobody's expecting anybody to propose.
Yeah, I'm kind of a fun-time boss and what-not.
Tom Brady could do that
(SCREAMING)
What am I? Emperor Ming, here, controlling your mind?
Yeah, my head hurts a lot.
The company's having their 20th anniversary party next week.
(MOUTHING) Hi. Tom Skerritt.
Yeah, I'd rather just not talk about it.
Me
You can put the ring in her ass Let her fart it out
No, no, it's from The Notebook.
She's...
Yeah. I did wish for it.
No, no, no. Four years, we've been going out.
If I get raped, it'll be my fault for what I'm wearing.
With you?
that actually sounds very appealing.
Really sweetie? Well, that’s exciting.
Yeah.
So, where are John and Teddy today?
The thunder can't get us, right?
Chuck E. Cheese’s rocks for yo Chuck E. Cheese’s rocks fucling pen
.
(SIGHS)
But I read at a six-year-old level, so...
I love you girls.
You know what? You're acting like a cock. You know that?
I don't understand why you keep putting up with him.
I'm serious, John. I went over to talk to her
(TED GRUNTING)
Isn't love enough? I submit that love is enough.
but my son and I couldn't help but admire your teddy bear.
(AUDIENCE SHOUTING)
Oh, my God!
Robert, seatbelt.
Hey.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, if you want.
Morgan Roberts. Smallest dick I’ve ever seen on a man
NARRATOR: And so John, Lori and Ted lived happily ever after.
Oh, my God, it always looks so great! I always want to fucking brush it!
Ted!
What do you mean?
Yeah, I mean, the guy's 35, and he's working for a rental car service.
What are you, five years old?
Fantastic stop fantastic
Kim’s new car after the hail storm
I don't know. I just wish he would get his life together.
You know, Ted, when I was a little boy,
why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself?
to get this job that I so crave.
I JUST WANNA BRUSH THAT HAIR
Something I call a Dirty Fozzie.
Hey, buddies. Where is it hanging?
Oh, yeah, no!
And I thought you were the most amazing,
Not a bad life, is it?
I just farted. That was a man fart.
I'll help you get on your feet out there, I promise.
(GROANING)
(SCOFFS) Listen to yourself.