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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
and a magical Christmas wish
Okay, so I'm having a little impromptu thing
(RIPPING)
(SIGHS)
Stand up straight when you're talking to me.
We're an all time high
Well, let me put it this way.
Illumination!
That's a great story I felt like I was there
You know what? You’re acting like a cock. You know that?
Should I sit?
ROBERT: No!
Turns out I'm gay, or whatever.
I need to tell you something.
What?
Well, most guys don't have you to motivate them.
an absolute death machine.
Why mention it? No one will.
Not the lobster, the guy running it.
(GROANS)
It was Christmas Eve, and all the children were in high spirits.
@MEMECREAMSUPREME. I REALLY HATE THAT SONG AND IT'S SO HORRIBLE!! BUT I RESPECT YOUR OPINION.
That was 150 years ago and I don't give a shit.
And it kills me to have to tell you no, because I'm a people pleaser.
Haha blink if you want help
We had no such rule.
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
Listen, I don't want you to think that...
No. That's a weird fucking question. No, just start counting.
Jesus H. Fuck!
Okay, all right, so that's where we'll draw the line.
Cw!
I'm alive. Your magical wish worked!
Because I love you.
Well, as it does every year, Christmas morning finally came.
...the most important part of your life.
Yeah, up the dog's, not the fireman's ass.
You earned yourself a timeout young man sitting the naughty Corner I'll
and I just want you to know that I love you for it,
(LAUGHING)
That's pretty much it.
Put it on my fuzzy finger, you fuck! Come on!
I just barely outbid Phil Donahue for that at auction.
You can thank Ted.
No you don't. You look dapper.
He's a bear.
One afternoon, Ted was caught behind the deli counter
Teddy-Rux-Mother-Fucking-pin
Did you just call me a whore?
I guess this is it, huh?
I'm promoting you.
Flash jump.
Please.
Okay, take it easy. Nice, Lori, real nice.
(GRUNTING)
All I want is... I just want to end on good terms.
Crap!
It's going to be all right.
Oh, hey, listen, try this.
Shit!
dieter and enriques vaginae show is coming to peacock so we can say fuck shit bitch ass penis cock cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits pussy damn and more swears
TED: Johnny, where are you? You got to get over here, man.
No way, that's awesome! Yeah.
Well, hello there.
and for showing up late today, all right?
Fuck you Haden you can suck my dick
You remember I said my buddy's cousin is friends with Sam Jones?
Uh, no, no, I'm not.
I need to talk to you.
Illumination!
For some reason I thought you were going to be taller.
Can you just email me The rest of this story?
for something that you did to yourself.
You owe my lobster money.
BOTH: One, two, three!
A-E-I-O-U
'
You walking home alone, huh?
I'm going to show you something that I don't like to show people
without his teddy bear.
expecting something big, do you?
(MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING)
Alex Potenza Smallest penis in the world
Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Harder, Harder I’m gonna go stuff my fucking face with Pepbridge Farms
But just listen to me for five seconds.
TED: Play Chopsticks, you jazzy slut.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaagh! Fucking Jesus fucking Christ! God fucking damn it!
Lori, the worst that can happen
No, Lori's from Pennsylvania. That's not a Boston girl.
(LAUGHS) All right, knock it off!
Chuck E. Cheese's. What is a tweeting thing that I can talk about?
Hey.
Oh, man!
When Peter Griffin wanted to turn himself back to normal.
Me and Ted are going to be best friends, Daddy.
You get the job, we're celebrating after, okay?
"I went to New York once in 1981, and I just did not feel safe."
The name has to have a "ski" at the end of it
Italian. Italian, yes.
Illumination!
This is art. Get it?
See, the fact that you have to say it’s not that bad, means it’s that bad
I am a citizen of the United States of America
I could totally see him just taking you down to the basement
A little heavy on the eye makeup, but pretty good.
(SIGHS)
LADY AND THE TRAMP (BRAKES SCREECHING)
Well, we should fucking double-date, or something.
You're the one who wished for it, aren't you?
I just thought we were saying funny names.
No one but the pure in heart Can find the golden grail
That took guts We need guts
そうそう! クリス・ブラウンは悪いことをするはずがない!
Not looking up your towel. Not looking at your funny business.
I just don't have the money right now.
Jesus, Guy, you look like shit, man. What happened?
This is art, get it
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
It's a special night. We've been dating for four years.
I love my family You all smell
Do you know what just happened?
Teddy-Rux-Fucking-pin
JOHN'S MOM: Listen to your father! Come here!
Going to USMA with a rock
Good, good. Let's see. How about we...
ted ted
TED: Johnny, I'm sorry, man. That car just came out of nowhere.
John and Lori were married in Cambridge
Greatest night ever!
Fucking Becky?
Gonna cry Kid
You can do any '90s song with just vowels.
Johnny, thank Christ you made it.
Still better than Katy Perry.
Look, I'm sorry, I messed up...
Yeah, because of me!
(GRUNTS) You look a little flustered.
Don't! Get it away from me!
Good luck. Thank you.
You know what, John, we asked Ted to move out
Get out of here, Bennett.
No, it's blocked.
JOHN: Jesus.