HOT
APP
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
YARNS
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
DISCOVER
YARNS
EMOJI
STORY
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Laymen’s terms None of that insider bullshit
IF THE GOVT WAS IN CHARGE OF YOUR CHRISTMAS BONUS
Looks so nice parked in the driveway
But Don't You Go Falling In Love With It Now. Because The Air Force still wants to cancel the damn thing.
I want to have Christmas here in our house.
2020 Clark, that's the gift that keeps giving the whole year.
Not that I know of russ
From all of us at US Sitework
If this tofurkey tastes half as good as it looks...
Those spotlight points lights are definitely not gonna twinkle
Not that good, actually.
That’s not the Friggin Christmas Star It’s the light at the sewage treatment plant
Her eyes aren't crossed anymore. That's something, ain't it?
Merry Christmas! Slitter was full!
Well, you be careful there. There's nothing to worry about, Eddie.
Nervous or excited? Shittin’ bricks.
Kiss my ass, kiss his ass, kiss your ass..
You sirius, Clark?
Mechanical failure?
I appreciate that, John
Merry Christmas!! Swooginville was full!!
how did they get all that - like the cvv code? i don't know, mom!
I don’t have clubs, Kevin
Chris did you get your bonus yet Will there be a pool?
Thanksgiving 2023 We have plenty of room!
Great. Can't wait to see what I got.
Those kids can fend for themselves
Yea. You surprised?
Uncle Paul, Are You Sure You Ain’t Santie Claus???
If this isn't the biggest bag over the head
College? Carnival.
...whatever you got last year...
At the rink..
You want to hurry this up, Willy? I'm freezing my baguettes off.
It’s a one year subscription to the Atticus Shaffer Jelly of the Month Club! Clark that’s the gift that keeps giving the whole year!
I have to eat so I can take my back pills!
CARY, THAT’S THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING THE WHOLE YEAR
It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.
There's no business. I'm not pressing any charges.
...and say hello to everybody. Hello, everybody?
Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber
Epicor Replacements
don't eat my cake mommy! yum
What?
How can they have nothing for the kids? He's been out of work for seven years.
Damn it Tim, you gave it away!
If you wanna come in, you, are gonna have to break down the goddamn door!
ffff
“I Heard On The News That A Pilot Spotted Santa's Sled On Its Way In From New York." That’d be me.
Get me an exit row aisle Please if your working tonight
Jeez! Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. Brush my teeth. Feed the hog.
I can picture it in my mind And it's breathtaking
Looks so nice sleeping on our couch.
…good
When plumber judges DIY
Ruby Sue, sweetheart.
Come to work and I’ll show you
...and sees me standing in the yard, staring at the house in my pajamas.
Where’s Crosgrove? He usually eats these goddamn things.
I'm gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer.
SHITTER WAS FULL!!
It looks great. a little full. lot of sap.
I give you the Griswold family Christmas tree.
Jordan’s now Ellen’s Dad “I have to eat, so I can take my back pills!”
Have you checked our shitters, honey? Clark, please.
The little lights aren’t twinkling
When Ben start on Web3 It’s best to let him finish.
Let er rip
Speaking of Christmas trees, kids, can one of you tell me...
. I got hemorrhoids. Can you believe that?
Hey Bevo, how hard is your bd going to be after APFT?
...ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless...
Neck Steven
These branches are the symbol of the shitty spirit of the Holiday Season between neighbors
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! GET YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE. REALLY NICE.
Me anytime I leave the house for the 5 months
This is what happens When your shitter is full
It's over. Not according to Santa's watch.
A WHOLE QUARTER
I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America...
....
Is your house on fire, Ingy?
He’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet
Boy, these gusty winds appear to be playing havoc with that giant nutcracker float.
It's Just That I Know How You Build Things Up In Your Mind, Sparky."
where’s ron? he usually eats this goddamn shit
Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard. It's not going in our yard, Jace. It's going in the garage.
Sorry, Daddy. It looks good even if they're not lit.
He worked really hard on that grandma...
Crystal and I would like to help you get blackout drunk and puke in my house
Fried pussycat!
ORY-GUN
Barbara work Christmas party
I appreciate that, Mel
(PLAYING) (TELEPHONE RINGS) (THUNDER) (BIRDS WHISTLE) (WHISTLING) (SNAP) (WHISTLES)
He’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.
RUSS...WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I OVERDID ANYTHING?
Dip out and I'll show you
Fire Kenny Payne And fire someone while I wait for Kenny to be fired
Will you just take it easy, Ellen? I'm in complete control.
Oh he's just yacking on a bone
Well, can we at least forbid them to answer the phone?
It was an ugly trophy anyway.
Do you hear it? It's a funny squeaky sound.
Looks like the toad overestimated The height of his living room ceiling
Julie Cottel There's a recipe for that
Oh that was fun. I love breaking into cars
Heihei
Why doesn't CLPE work Ben? I don't know Dan!
Become a Rodan+Fields Consultant
My constant message to Rauner and Rahm, and CPS
DJ, if this tastes half as good as it looks we’re in for a real treat!
.
I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was.
Do you honestly think I don’t know that?
.
It is warm in here. You have your coat on.
So how's the live bait business Eddie?
Every faculty meeting you have attended...
Worse?
"Shitting Bricks." "You shouldn't use that word." "Sorry, shitting Rocks."
Corporate cards
Covid What you did just plain SUCKS!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and...."
Did you get your travel authorization yet?
Oh, it's just a little dry. It's fine. It looks good to me.
that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year
He was a huge, beastly, bulging man and--
Que pedo gorgoriu?
...the ground and my brain but a piece of government plastic.
Retooling?! I'll retool you!
Holiday movie marathon starts NOW
RETOOLING?!?! I'LL RETOOL YOU!!
He’s got a lip fungus that ain’t identified yet.
oh dear grandma snell fancy a notre dame? yes one with nine million towers!
I know Art. Thanks for noticing.
When my friend gives me a listing referral over the Christmas Holidays.
I like to eat Christmas jelly beans off the floor.
THAT'S PRETTY LOW, MISTER. IF I HAD A RUBBER HOSE, I WOULD BEAT YOU INTO SEPTEMBER.
Just in the living room. I should say it?
Retooling i'll retool you
Non-nutritive media varnish?
That it is, Tacos. That it is, indeed
When you ask an American who they'd t
Fuck JDGafflin, I shouldn’t have to fumigate this here bag
Don’t forget that report, Bill.
We needed a coffin. I mean, a tree.
State of the Nation …
Damn. I hate getting g up on Christmas morning with dem kids.
Test
Jeff be like...
You wanna hurry this up Clark?? I’m freezing my baguettes off!
Well, I can't lie to you, Clark. The truth is, things ain't going too good at all.
Alice? She passed away 30 years ago.
Looks so nice at the kitchen table.
ho, ho, ho. merry christmas, mandy!
i have to eat so i can take my back pills
Trying to sell in one more 32oz And you find the nice retailer
HC and I’ll show ya
Fried pussycat!
roland penno you naughty boy! now i have no choice but to bash you up! (bashes up with fist) bash! bash! bash! bash! bash! ow! ow! ow! ow! ow! ow! ow! alright alright i give up! i'll move out forever! thanks jeez poland renno!
That's not a Comet... It's the light on the sewage treatment plant
What is it?
I can picture the studio in my mind And it’s breathtaking
Alice? She passed away 30 years ago.
Don’t piss me off, Andy
Do you honestly think I don't know that? Come on, you guys, don't fight.
Jelly of the Month Club
Feeling like Ruby Sue this morning waking up to NO SNOW
(BLOWS BOS'N'S WHISTLE) (DOORBELL CHIMES) (BARKS) (HUMMING)
I can't swim, Clark.
And get me somebody while I wait.
If you don't mind, Clark, I'd like to see if I can fumigate this here chair.
And forgive my husband. He knows not what he does.
Wee!