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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
(ALL LAUGH)
That's cute when you're a stuffed animal.
You could just, uh, write that to John and Ted. Put number 12.
Oh, Johnny!
Let me hear you say it.
Es gibt keine Tittenbuxen! Nur Phritten mit Titten!
Wait, wait, wait. What's your middle name?
Ted, dude, I'm so sorry, man. This completely sucks.
He knows where this is going. Okay.
Not in our eyes.
Hey, Sam, you want in on this?
He's gonna love it. Go, go, go!
Okay, all right, for real, guys, for real. Who's got a person?
He's beautiful. Come on! I'll trade you. Catch.
Oh, Shit
it's right there for anyone to see.
Yeah, you're his boss and you two guys are enemies!
and The Importance of Being Earnest, which was very disappointing.
No, we're just gonna go home and tie our dicks together.
Oh, my God. She's fucking begging for it!
I really love that Neil Diamond.
TED: All right. Here, catch. (DIAPER SQUISHING)
Well, not because I'm a junior attorney arguing ner first case.
My name's Donny.
Come on, read between the lines, Sam. it's Fuck_
Technically not a person. Yeah. Jesus Christ!
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Get the fuck out, you piece of dog shit.
It reminds me of the strain I smoked
OMG Booty
Sam, give me your phone.
You okay?
a broken marriage and make it work again?
You need to go to hell Leeland!
. .
Johnny? John, come on, stay with me, pal.
I won second prize in a beauty contest. That's $50 right there.
Jonah Hill!
Oh! Well done!
(TIREs sCREECHING) (HORN HONKING)
Holy shit Johnny
Teddy's a good man.
I'm naming the store after you.
I love my wife. Okay? My wife.
I'm so sorry, pot!
They said I'm property.
I won't be any fun then, will I?
Yes, I remember it.
I am gonna come up there, and I'ma kick it! Yeah, why don't you try it? Get up here and kick it!
It's Comic Con, you idiot! We're going to the Javits Center.
and this is exactly what you've been doing to the fags!
Okay, well, good talk.
Listen, Johnny, I wanna tell you how sorry I am.
and in the naive minds of sheltered innocents.
What if I gave you a handjob outside your pants while you are an ice cream cone?
Mr. Bennett,
Exactly how many beers did you have
I have a boyfriend.
Goodbye, John.
JOHN: Ted! SAIVIANTHAZ Ted!
Ah! Ah! Shit, Shit, Shit!
Oh,no,no, no,no,no!
The big day may be tonight
go away
Oh, for Christ's sake!
I can't see shit in there.
You know what this is? It's Super Lemon Haze.
That barn just came out of nowhere.
Space Jam [1996]
Ted, do you believe you have a soul?
There are no Tittenbuxen, Only Guys with Tits There are no Tittenbuxen, Only Guys with Tits
Hey, so, uh, listen, I got, uh...
(ROCK MUSIC l=>LAYING)
How to Train Your Dragon 2 is now at McDonald's some fun some food it's all inside this happy meal
(SINGING) When you hear the sound of thunder
No, you have Give us the ring, my precious eyes.
How far away does he live?
please wake up.
No. It's got to be Fuck_ It must be Fuck_
When you're a person, that's a felony.
Holy shit!
Jesus. Look at that black cock.
Nobody's blaming you for this. You did everything you could.
Hashtag Grr, Mondays.
Ted, do you consider yourself to be human?
A hundred and fifty years ago
Do you understand?
Yes, sir.
And from what I know about you,
Tomorrow night in Knoxville
The rocket ship just hit him!
See, the important thing about being human
Go on.
Yeah, can I help you?
Well, that's not true. He's had a positive effect on me.
You're an adult with a poster of this guy in your fucking room.
TED: Oh, God! Ahhh!
JOHN: Um, hey. Um...
I feel terrible.
Yeah, well, sometimes you like seeing the tongue go the other way!
Okay? And... And I don'twant us
It's just...
Look at them. They're so happy.
You got to take a closer look. That's close enough, Johnny!
(SHOUTS) what the hell?
on the collected works of, uh, Red Bull?
Clubber Lang. (LAUGHS) Fucking...
He's beautiful. Come on! I'll trade you. Catch.
MARIO AND STEVEN: GET OUT GET THE HELL OUT! YOU GOD DAMM!
No, that's not necessary.
Have some Cookie Crisp. You need something nutritional.
Get Used to it!!
This is private property!
at the fact that I'm representing a teddy bear.
Look, Sam, this is a really bad time, all right? Something happened to Ted.
Oh, Shit!
Thank you, Your Honor.
Then, by the power vested in me,
No, forget it, buddy.
I can see it from here, thanks,yeah_
You know, as much as I love this person, we're completely wrong for each other.
Hey, come on.
I'm a little nervous. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
to inflate law enforcement budgets
(PRICING GUN clicking)
Take your goddamn teddy bear with you!
Just grab your thunder buddy and say these magic words
Why, you said it twice. Is that an actual phrase?
MALE NARRATOR: And so our story comes to an end.
I mean, aren't you supposed to be fighting
you're not gonna change that.
Jesus Christ.
Wow. That's the cornerstone of any great marriage.
What the heck
Hey, how you doing?
I can make this company a billion dollars.
Yeah, I say do it!
I need you to come with me now.
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)
your marriage to Tami-Lynn IVlcCafferty is unrecognized by the state
You fuckin’ crazy? We don’t want that guy running around in here.
As for complex emotions and the capacity for empathy,
hahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahshah poo poo poo poo poo poo pooo p
We'll just get the check. Thanks.
What is taking them so long?
Oh, this is such a relief!
Ted,
No,no,no. That shit can always be recovered.
Is that the boxing movies?
TED: Oh, my God.
Oh. Can we have that one?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
Trish: 300 black ops!
Is that correct?
What is your financial situation?
Somebody call 911!
Yeah, I wanna fucking throw shit!
Are you okay? Johnny, you all right?
Oh, okay. Thank you.
Sam, that means the world coming from someone who went to Arizona State.
What like garbage Or a piece of shit
Your witness.
(sos POP SONG l=>LAYING)
You don't have a license.
I think I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice.
Hey, what the hell you doing walking around dressed like Star Wars?
Who cares? Johnny lets me drive
Where did they get him?
Wow.
Some law now
and I'll be back with $200.
or my marriage is gonna collapse. (SIGHS)
We're married. I don't care what anybody says.
He needs help.
Oh, Shit! Fuck!
I'm starving. What the hell are you doing over there?