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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
What?
I agree. (BOTH CHUCKLE)
Did you find it difficult as an actor, playing opposite a car?
John, what's going on?
Yeah, there was an issue, so he's
I love you so much.
Johnny, thank you! Thank you so much!
Johnny, come on.
I... I mean, they say, uh, Trix are for kids in the commercials.
MALE NARRATOR: We are often told
All right. I think I can handle the defense.
Some people go through their whole lives
It is the same beast, just wearing a different face,
Teddy, it's your turn to change him.
I'm telling you, Ted,
Wake up, Johnny.
Shit!
(SNIFFLING) This isn't fucking fair.
You are meddling with powers you do not understand.
He got a little wasted, so these two dudes took him out back to sober up.
What do you say there, happy face?
You sick bastard! Look at this! Chicks with dicks?
I don't know what to say.
Yeah. Yeah, I did. I got an A on it.
That wasn't supposed to happen.
Did you see which way they went?
Come on.
You shut the nuts up
I think I want to sleep on a bed made of your voice.
Yeah.
YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!
You're on the stand, the DA says,
He's my best friend.
Es gibt keine Tittenbuxen, nur Phritten mit Titten! There are no Tittenbuxen, Only Guys with Tits
What?
Why? Nobody here likes you!
that happily-ever-afters exist only in the pages of fairy tales
Ms. Jackson?
UNHALES)
Dress up like we're into this shit and fuck with the nerds.
Hey, Johnny, how about a beer, huh?
Hello? You're dicks.
He's not cheap,
You do understand that I myself am not a child?
Yes, I supervised the stuffing of the teddy bears.
Thunder Buddies Storms on Monday & Tuesday
Mr. Kidder,
You know why? Because he's a person.
JOHN: We're giving you the tools, buddy.
why did you not choose to have a child of your own?
It doesn't matter what the world calls me. I know who I am.
I invite you.
Okay, I'm going to bring these back to my apartment.
But let's make one thing clear.
with a wife-beater under his Bruins jacket
Gosh dang it Leeland what the heck is wrong with you?
What the hell is a leaf of this stuff
Me about to present in front of the class
What do you mean, What? After hours?
What the fuck did you just call me, fucker?
Hey, do you think I could take a picture with you?
(GASPS) Oh, my God!
You piece of shit.
Get off me!
and my sperm count's a little low.
with just a splash of Grey Goose?
sda
ANGRY BIRDS
Would be a sweet-ass fucking baby.
Yeah.
Hello.
do you love your wife?
The drugs, the parties, the prostitutes, the arrests.
What?
I was talking. I was just talking, just now, until you interrupted me.
wrote me a check...
TED TOY VOICE: I love you!
That was fucking classic!
(SCOFFS) Now, come on!
Come on.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
God damn it!
A synthetic cotton-poly blend.
Ted. Right, right. Sorry, sorry.
Thank you, Your Honor.
This is not a toy Leeland!
Well, don't yell at us, dude! We didn't do anything!
Oh, it's my pleasure.
You know...
But I think you'll be impressed with my client.
I was wrong.
So in the pocket.
but I need you to go to the waiting area now, please.
(EXHALES)
I'm so glad I'm finally caught. I wanted to be caught!
How you doing?
Wait, what do you mean, Go ahead? You got to do it.
TED: Bill Cosby.
(STUTTERS) What? What's wrong?
What the hell do they know?
I'm sorry you're not who I hoped you'd be.
My turn, (Bleep)!
Your cat?
And while I'm sympathetic to your cause,
KITT, it's all right. Just let it go, huh?
because you are a good man, David Hasselhoff
Yeah. Well, you're not the first guy
that guy running around in here.
Okay? So, uh...
Oh, why can't you just say please?
and it was one of the best highs I ever had.
One day I woke up and I just realized I wasn't myself anymore.
Hello, Jews!
I'm blinking it in!
Take a look at this. I found a cowboy hat and a rifle and a guitar.
At his office in New York.
(sNIFFs)
Fine.
People are trying to sleep!
Julie when Glenn agreed to give her massage
Uh, you don't get that with a car.
Mr. Ivleighan, we've come along way to meet you
It's got to be Fuck_ It has to be Fuck_
IVlmm.
Well, everybody says you're the best in town.
Okay, what is it?
We should probably focus our attention on the case for now.
On Tuesday nights, we get fucked up and throw apples atjoggers
I could find some happiness
(CLEARS THROAT)
(SIGHS) I... I'm sitting here
You sick bastard! look at this! hard edge porn?
(STUTTERS) Okay, maybe something else.
Um, in the case of Ted v. The Commonwealth of Massachusetts,
(CROWD cHEERING)
deserves to be called human.
I'm Gonna Get A Huge Migraine In The Parking Lot In About 20 Minutes.
I'll get right down to it.
Licker?
.
Uh-huh. Look at that.
And no matter how many
Time to leave histo!
by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts.
Okay. Um, I just may need a signature in case
(SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE)
No, I'm sorry! I thought I'd built a better case.
Do I have fuck-me eyes?
Wait, let me try.
TED: A-ha! I fucking knew it!
My turn @$$ holes
a little boy named John Bennett made a wish
She gets... You get it.
The face of the business? So get the fuck off my case!
oh what the what what are you doing
There's another issue,
I'm a fucking pro!
For the sperm.
I want to feel useful, you know?
TED: Oh! Fuck me! TAMI-LYNN: What's the matter?
Do, Do, Do!
to be a part of these proceedings.
your ovarian canal has been somewhat compromised.
I $66.