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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)
Pepper grinder! Yeah.
Yeah, no shit. She's always cock-blocking you.
When Alvy says 15-20 minutes No, Now homo.
HARSH
Hey, Mary!
Fine. I'll say it.
Damn, yes.
What? For fuck's sake, lan, don't you watch Dateline?
IAN: A few weeks later, I was Felicia's date to Tiffany's wedding.
and I'll give you a ride home, but I don't think that... What the fuck?
-What? -Look, you're pissing in front of everybody.
Brace myself and let go
Just cut. Just like, shiny fucking stiff, hot vascular mushroom head.
-She's into you. -Yeah, no shit. Get in line.
(GRUNTS)
As long as it's about me
You know why? 'Cause our love will dry them up.
-Wait, I mean, you're serious? -Yeah. I'm serious. We're good. No worries.
Imma pummel his ass real good
-Really? -Yes. Really.
I mean, that was a lot of work.
Felicia. Why can't you just say it?
(ROOSTER CROWlNG)
-Uh-oh ! -Oh !
-Yeah. -Damn.
Fuck! She heard everything then.
(TlRES SCREECHlNG)
Okay.
You unlock this fucking car, or God is my witness,
like you can almost see your reflection in that fucking cock.
As long as it's about me
Logan, do not eat that. You will fuck up your appetite!
But that Thanksgiving,
I think l'd rather stay a virgin forever than lose it on pity-sex.
You purchase an unrated DVD to view with your friends. Only with your friends...
Not one car. Can you believe it?
I don't see no keys in my hands
Hey, sir. l've got something yummy for your little girl.
Shit, that boy lan don't seem like he got no balls at all.
What are you talking about?
(SlNGlNG ALONG)
(ALL EXCLAlMlNG)
We're not... She's not my girlfriend.
-Who the fuck are you? -Holy fucking fuck-balls!
-l win. -Again.
ls that not how it happens? So tell me how it happens, expert.
I think that's real sweet.
-Does he have an attitude? -No, he's fucking with you.
Don't be so fucking desperate. Come on, be a dick. Be cool.
(LANCE LAUGHS)
I probably shouldn't even be talking to you but...
(TASER ZAPPlNG)
And we both know what we want
Cock sucker For you Al
(LET'S GET IT UP PLAYlNG ON CAR RADlO)
-lAN: Do you hear that? There's a ringing. -Your loss. it's like razor blades.
what you'd lose if this bus couldn't have gotten back on the road,
(SINGING) Hey! Hey!
I'm gonna go see if Lance...
In misery
Come on, get in. Get in !
Hurts doesn't it?
That's right. Take a seat,
Dude, seriously? Still? I thought you got over this shit.
-don't think I'm gonna carry you. -You know what? I will be fine. Okay?
-Kristy, you ready, baby? -Okay.
No, come on. I love that your shoes are in that tree.
When I was a girl, my best friend was a fella named Creighton McDaniel.
(ENGlNE REVVlNG)
Well, that is gonna change today.
lt's, you know... I mean, what is it called?
lt actually says Purple Soda.
Just take your fucking clothes off, asshole!
And I'm like, Yeah, you're a fucking Ph. D. of cock.
I've got to get away from here It's killing me just thinking 'bout
(GASPlNG)
I wanna have his baby, he's... Whatever.
Fine, fine. Okay. But if any of you pervs peek,
I'm not twat... Doing that.
No. Felicia, this is different okay, because she changed me.
Suckers!
(LAUGHS)
(LANCE GRUNTS)
She's gonna live forever. Well, a long time.
-Oh, man, it's this douche again. -You want it? You got it.
(BOTH LAUGHlNG)
-Yeah, I asked her. She said no. -Good. Dude, she's totally wrong for you.
I mean, okay, look at Andy and Randy over there.
-You won't. -What are you thinking about?
Cuddle up.
-Look at you. You're a new man. -No, I'm not.
(SHUSHlNG)
I can't believe you just did that.
I'm just saying, you guys put in a 20-minute show,
Oh, God ! Damn it!
(lNAUDlBLE)
I'm sorry, I just can't do it.
So I tells my daddy, You know what? You're not the boss of me.
-What? -Come on.
Hi.
Excuse me, do you have a pair of scissors?
This is serious matter.
You know, I'm a butterfly now because of her.
lan, do you know anything about fixing these old Pontiacs?
which is a show. it's also a movie starring Billy Bob Thornton.
You're really good at that. That's really wet. Two...
They're nice.
I'm driving nine hours. How am I not coming off desperate?
-and get this goat over to Luis. -Right.
So I tell him I love him.
Yeah, would be cool, wouldn't it? I might be the coolest guy you ever met.
There's no service out here.
Hands where I can see them.
If 2020 was disguised as a Donut
(TlRES SQUEALlNG)
Signing off, I'm all right in bed, but I'm better with a pen
(KAT WHOOPING)
(DISCO INFERNO PLAYING)
Lance, don't you know your little theory of People want what they can't get.
because her lifestyle is keeping her from being happy.
RANDY: Where'd you come up with that?
-Must be a good living. -Yeah, we do. I mean...
That's what you say when people do nice things for you.
TONY BUCKETS
-but all you care about is your stupid dick. -lan.
-Felicia, you okay? -Yeah, I'm fine.
Rex, I'm not gay.
And let December glow feel flames
That is one of the better sets that l've seen today.
I'm thinking maybe we head back home.
Blink twice if you feel you're in danger.
I mean, the opportunity to help a neighbor, that's a gift.
-and take it a little... -No.