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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Alvy? - What?
Run a company
Yvonne Birthday
Grass, right? The illusion that it makes a white woman more like Billie Holiday.
"I Have To Go Now, Duane, Because I'm Due Back On The Planet Earth."
There's a spider in the bathroom.
It's a dying city. You read Death in Venice.
- You got a headache? - I have a headache!
- I'm exactly the same way. - I see.
Ann tells us you've been seeing a psychiatrist for 15 years.
- I'm a Rosicrucian myself. - Are you?
I got this Voltswagen out there.
It had to be you
My accountant will write it off as a tax deduction. I'll pay for it.
Try to get some of this down. It's just plain chicken.
Well, then I'm going to come out there and get you.
- Do you taste for poisoned food? - Yeah, he's great.
All over the country, people are desperate for food.
We can't have this discussion all the time. The country makes me nervous.
If only I had the nerve to break up, but it would really hurt him.
Why do you bring that up? Because I encourage you to take adult education?
But if there was a second assassin...
In about six weeks we could cut the whole album.
I would leave out the men's-room attendant.
What's the matter?
What do you want? It was my first play.
- You never know who will crawl over. - I know.
I found you
Well, I do commercials, sort of.
I don't want to go out with other women.
I lost track of most of my old schoolmates, but I wound up a comedian.
she's making progress, and I'm getting screwed.
Who said that?
That's one thing about intellectuals:
I'm having pastrami on white bread...
So when you go through life, be thankful that you're miserable.
I admire the technique, but it doesn't hit me on a gut level.
Sun, milk, red meat, college.
But I gotta be really talented. Material's got to be sensational for me.
If you want to see a movie, you have to stand on line.
She's a reporter for Rolling Stone.
I don't care what you say about David. He's a fine teacher.
- No, Alvy, please? - You can live without it once.
Can we not debate this on the telephone...
That's not it at all. Alvy's giving an award on TV.
You know they're going to tell you their stories, you're going to fall down.
Still the thrill
I'm into leather.
There's another thing about New York.
I was playing Richard II. Two guys with leather jackets stole my leotard.
We use a large vibrating egg.
It's Easter. We'll sit down and eat. I think they'll really like you.
So what are you up to?
- What do you mean? - Mean?
It won't be expanding for billions of years!
Everybody in line has to know our rate of intercourse?
No, I mean you don't have to. You're probably late and everything.
I have a terrific problem with authority.
She's a ten. That's great for you, 'cause you're used to two's, aren't you?
That's a perfect analytic insight.
Yeah, I sort of dabble around, you know.
Yes. I'm making excellent progress.
There's nothing wrong with you as far as I can tell.
Sex with you is really a Kafkaesque experience.
Dinner dates and flowers
Good. Oh, thank you.
modes of alienation, and we'll be in here quietly humping.
How long do you know Janet? Where do you know her from?
Jesus! Really?
but there's ritual, religious cult murders.
Well, I'm going to get a cigarette, okay?
I mean, no. I think it's important for us to explore new relationships.
he said as he removed her brassier.
Look. All the books on death and dying are yours.
Nice. Santa Claus will have sun stroke.
I'm sorry. I can't go through with this.
I'll have the usual trouble with Annie in bed tonight.
Annie and I broke up, and I still can't get my mind around that.
What?
I'm cool.
He's got millions of followers, who would crawl across the world...
- I look pretty. - You always do. But that guy with you!
I have some trouble between fantasy and reality.
I'm sorry.
Two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort.
Corned beef, please.
You know nothing of my work. The Manicest pixiest dreamiest girliest work.
That's really nice. Thanks a lot.
Saturday night, I'm going to sing.
It's never something you do. That's how people are. Love fades.
Hang in there for a second. I got a little erotic artifact...
next to Tudor next to Japanese.
but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian.
The other important joke for me...
'cause I'm not essentially a political comedian.
I think of us that way sometimes, and I live here.
That's the second time this month! Step up here.
All that Juliet of the Spirits or Satyricon.
You're a little hostile, you know that?
Remember we had that thing?
- You got black soap? - It's for my complexion.
- But you have a nice apartment. - I have a tiny apartment.